Works Sucks

Disclaimer: One might argue that this should go in the other blog, since it could be perceived of as more of a serious essay. Nonetheless, it really did grow out a random thought that I had yesterday. Not only that, it contains some personal elements, some "journal entry" elements to it, and as such, I think it belongs here more than there. I realize it's a bit longer than the usual two-liner that's been the standard for this blog, but... oh well. Deal with it.

NOTE: This post has been edited since it's original posting. The latest edit was made on Monday, November 15th, at 11:47 p.m. If you read this entry before that time... read again.

You know, I really feel sorry for people who have to work for a living. Okay, with that said, and before you jump all over me for being lazy and good for nothing, let me explain what I mean.

There are two kinds of work. The first is the kind in which you do something you believe in, something you enjoy, something you find purpose in. The second is the kind in which the job is strictly a means of putting a roof over your head and food on the table, and not a thing more. I am currently doing both kinds of work, which makes me an expert on this topic. Okay, just kidding about the expert part. But I do have my thoughts, as always.

The first kind of work is stuff that I do with my church. Primarily, it's the praise team and the youth group. I play guitar (sometimes drums!) and sing in the praise team on Sunday mornings, which means being there at 8:30 a.m. every Sunday. So much for sleeping in on the weekends. I also do things like other services where guitar music is requested (such as today's memorial service, actually), and any other church events with music. Then there's youth group. I'm a part of the leadership team for the junior high and high school youth group at my church, along with the pastor and two other college students, Josh and Andrea. Youth group meets on Wednesdays, and when you throw in the Tuesday planning sessions (yes, we're real plan-in-advance types) and several other informal, spontaneous, off the cuff brainstorming sessions throughout the week, it becomes quite a committment. But here's the catch: I love all this stuff. I absolutely love it. I love worshipping God, and I love being able to get up there and lead people in musical worship. And most of all, I love working with the kids in youth group. At no other time do I feel so strongly that sense of, "This is exactly what I am supposed to be doing." That middle of the week, Tuesday through Thursday, is the most invigorating for me; Tuesday because that's when we're planning and brainstorming, Wednesday because that's where it all happens, and Thursday because that's when we're processing events of the previous night. I always go home on Wednesday nights, especially, feeling so energized. And I love these kids to death. From Thursday after youth group, through Tuesday before the next one, I'm always looking forward to Wednesday night, because it has become my favorite time of the week, with Sunday morning running a close second. Sometimes I wish that we could do youth group every night of the week. But then, they'd probably get sick of me. Haha. But I love them to death, those kids. And though few may know this, those kids and my involvement in that youth group are the first real attachment I've felt to anything in years. If I could leave today... I wouldn't. And that's a first in years. That's not to say that they're not a royal pain sometimes, but what kind of lousy excuse for middle school and high school kids would they be if they weren't? I might become worried if they didn't give me a headache sometimes. But I always have tons of fun with them, and I'm blown away by their honesty and sincerity, and by the potential I see in them, and the ridiculously amazing things God will do through them in their lives. Not to mention the things He is already doing in them and through them even today.

Then there's the second kind of work. And for me, that's Safeway. Now, let me preface this by saying that I have had much, much, much worse than Safeway, as far as jobs go. But that was a while ago, and memory fades. Such that if I take the time to remember back to those days, Safeway pales in comparison; but since I rarely seem to do that, it usually goes about like this: I hate Safeway. I stand in a checkstand for eight hours at a time—count them, 8 hours—and pass people's groceries over an electronic scanner. I then take their money and give them change. I pretend to be interested in how they're doing, and I pretend to wish them a good day. I make miserable small talk and I laugh at their pathetic grocery store jokes ("Oh, you're just waiting for me, aren't you?" and "Can't have you standing around, better put you to work!"). I give them their groceries and I send them on their way. And I hate it. It is possibly the worst use of my mind, my abilities, and my talents, and my time that I could posisbly think of. (At least sleeping would leave me more rested, allowing me to be more intellectually on top of things.) There is absolutely no purpose to my job except to gain money. But while money is necessary, working at Safeway feels like in order to get that money, I threw away eight hours out of a day. Wasted. Wasted. Just for a paycheck. I threw away a whole crapload of time in exchange for a paycheck.

Here's the key to all of this: I don't consider the things I do with the youth group or the praise team to be work. I know that one day I'll be paid to do those things, bring in an actual salary, and it will actually be called a job. But it will never feel like a job to me. It will only feel like the work of the Lord, which, in my mind, is the only thing worth doing anyways. It will never feel like work because it will always feel like exactly what I should be doing, exactly what I was meant to do, exactly what God wants me to do. And, quite simply, because I love it to death. I long for the day when I can work in ministry full time, with young Christian kids, with the church, and have people call it a job, and support me doing it. (Notice even my own reluctance to call something like that a job, because it still just doesn't feel like work.) I long for the day when people call that my job, so that that's all I ever have to do anymore. When I don't have to go to school full time. When I don't have to work a stupid, mindless, pointless, wasteful job just to survive. I know it's a ways away, until I reach a point where I can go full time into the ministry, quit my (real) job, and just spend my time working with God's people. But it is a day that I long for.

So when I say that I feel sorry for people who have to work for a living, I mean people who don't find purpose and enjoyment in their work. People for whom their job is simply a means of making the money they need, and nothing more. Because if that's all it is, then they're being paid to waste their time. (This next part was added after original posting.) And there is no job or job type for which this absolutely does or does not define the job. It's not the job itself, but what the job means to the person working it. And it comes down to this: The Wal*Mart checker that enjoys and finds fulfillment in his job is more fortunate than the big-time lawyer that does not. And there are tons of people, in every line of work (including ministry), who are currently working a job they hate, passionately, and find no fulfillment in. I sometimes want to ask them how they do it, how they manage to get up and go to work day after day, year after year, decade after decade, when it makes them so miserable. If that's you, and you're reading this, I hope you don't hate me for saying it! Haha. It's just the way I feel; I hate my job, and I hate working at things I don't find purpose in. That's why I'm going into ministry. For now, I feel privileged to have been given these opportunities to volunteer in the ministries that I'm a part of, because I live for those things.